We are huge literature fans, and we appreciate those who quote scenes from movies and use metaphors to explain their feelings in life. However, one must make sure the other side knows what they are about. Not everyone thinks of The Kardashians when they think about role models for a relationship (though we don’t know that for sure.)
Using a more known and respectful couple would make it easier for the other side to understand. We can suggest Cinderella and Prince Charming, Vivian and Edward (“Pretty Woman”), or even Ross and Rachel, but leave Kourtney out of the picture for God’s sake.
How High?
When you enter the dating world, you quickly begin to see just how many people lack self-awareness. After so many failed relationships, it can be easy to understand why some people have issues when it comes to dating.
This person apparently thinks that they’re amazing and even rejected this person due to their “high standards.” We have a feeling that their narcissistic tendencies are the reason why they're still single, not their supposedly high standards!
Dating Socks
When going through a breakup, many people find themselves clinging to mementos and memories of the past.
This person was apparently so desperate to find a reason for them to meet up with their ex that they used a sock as a legitimate reason for meeting up. The result? Basically being told to put a sock it up!
Hello, Is it Me You’re Looking For?
There are many situations where it's hard to read what the other person is thinking. That said, it doesn’t take a genius at reading social cues to understand that the recipient of all of these messages is just not that into you.
Unless you're Adele singing your hit ballad "Hello," there is NO reason to say hello this many times.
New Phone, Who ‘Dis?
With our busy everyday lives, it can be hard to remember to save every telephone number - especially if the person with that telephone number is not someone you really want to remember or communicate with ever again.
This person apparently thought that they were much more important or memorable than they really were. Reality can be tough to face sometimes, thankfully funny memes make it all better...maybe...
Peek A-Boo!
Some ghosts, like Casper the Friendly Ghost, are adorable. The person who ghosted you after the second date? Not so much. After disappearing, this relationship ghost decided to reappear with this strange message.
We’re not sure why they suddenly care about this person’s relationship status after they practically disappeared. We think this person should just block them to give this ghost a taste of their own medicine!
Blame it on the Moon
From ancient times to today, humans have always looked to the stars and moon for guidance or to explain natural phenomena. This person decided to use the “Pisces Blood Moon” (whatever that is) as a way to reach out to their ex.
Thankfully, the ex fought fire with fire and used astrology to end the conversation very quickly!
Do They Know What “Accident” Means?
There are times when we make mistakes when it comes to communicating. While one mistake is easy to write off as being an accident, it gets a bit harder to justify calling someone multiple times!
Either this was the most persistent butt-dial in history, or this guy has a boundary problem. We hope their promise to stop the incessant phone calls holds true because otherwise, this person might just need to change their phone number!
Talk About Mixed Messages
Dating can be confusing. From following “rules” that don’t make much sense to playing hard to get when all you want is for the other person to pay attention to you, things can get confusing really quickly.
This person gave new meaning to the words “mixed messages” when they first requested to cut all ties and then wanted a date about a year later. We wonder what changed that made them want to meet up.
See You on the Other Side
You know dating is hard when the idea of someone having passed away seems more reassuring than the fact that they’re ghosting you. This person came to the conclusion that the person they were trying to text couldn’t possibly be uninterested but perhaps was no longer alive.
While this may have soothed their ego, we don’t understand why they continued to text the supposedly deceased person. Would they be creeped out if the person they were texting suddenly decided to respond from the other side? Can the ghosts ghost you? Can they text back?
Save the Rebounds for Basketball
We’re not sure if it's ego or narcissism, but some people are convinced that there are just droves of people waiting on the sidelines for them to change their relationship status.
For some reason, this person thought that their ex would be interested to hear that they were single again. They should have saved that news for somebody who actually cared because their ex certainly did not have any interest in becoming a rebound! Why did they think their ex would care?
BRB, Planning a Life Without You
When someone is not interested in a person, they often come up with some of the most outlandish excuses explaining why they can’t get together. Eventually, though, constantly having to make up excuses can get exhausting.
This person decided to nip things in the bud by just flat-out telling their ex that they have no interest in ever getting together with them. Though we respect their decision, we wonder what that person did in order to get such a savage response!
Not-So-Happy New Year
The start of the New Year is a great time to make changes to your life in the form of New Year’s resolutions. While many people pledge to eat healthier or work out more, some apparently use this time of the year to change their relationship behavior.
Unfortunately, like so many failed diets and abandoned gym memberships, this is one resolution that’ll never happen. But like the recipient of the text said, we have to admire their optimism! Here’s hoping that their next resolution involves getting over their ex!
Didn’t See This on the Calendar
In addition to the many traditional holidays that we celebrate, there are evidently a lot more holidays that we didn’t even know existed … like “forgive an ex day.”
We’re not sure which jilted lover made this up, but we’re not buying it as being a real holiday. Even worse than a presumably fake holiday is the fact that the recipient of this text was one of two people to get the same cheesy text - talk about making someone feel special!
You Think?
It is an unfortunately common phenomenon where people want everything, especially when it comes to being in a relationship. This person has a girlfriend, but instead of being by her side during her birthday party, they snuck away to go text their ex.
The most ridiculous part of all of it? The fact that they acknowledge how the relationship isn’t going well but don’t realize that their sneaky behavior is probably part of the problem! UGH!
Can’t You See?
Giving unsolicited medical advice is annoying even when friends or loved ones are doing it. But when it's an ex making comments about your eye health, it’s even more eye-rolling.
This person didn’t see that their opinion was neither wanted nor needed, yet they continued to share what they think their ex should be doing with their vision. Considering the reason why these two broke up, it’s clear to see that people don’t always make the best choices!
Now You’re Just Somebody That I Used to Know
We’re going to be honest: we were initially on this person’s side after reading the first part of their text message. But then the message quickly went from heartfelt to “Is this person seriously quoting early-2000s one-hit-wonders?
We love Gotye as much as the next person, but this person really needs to come up with their own material. Let’s hope their next message contains something a bit more original; otherwise, they’ll find themselves being made fun of again!
That Was Fast!
Most people have been guilty of using a birthday to reach out to an ex. After all, who doesn’t appreciate being wished a happy birthday?
Apparently, this person has no desire to interact with their ex so they ignored this birthday text, or maybe they were out busy celebrating. Either way, this person decided that their birthday wish had a strict expiration date of fewer than 24 hours before it would be unsent. It’s no wonder their ex chose to ignore this short-lived birthday text!
Hello, Hello
Remember in 2014 when Apple automatically installed U2’s album in our iTunes albums without our permission? Well, it turns out that just like that album, some exes are almost impossible to remove from our lives too.
This person sent their ex a message in the hopes that they would get their ex to wish them a good day in return, forcing them to show that they cared. Thankfully, the ex was not falling for that trap, so they sent back this hilarious response. We’re sure it was not a “Beautiful Day” for this ex!
Pretty Please?
One of the quirks about dating nowadays is deciding what to do about all of the streaming or home delivery services you and your ex-partner shared when you were both in a relationship together.
When this person’s relationship ended, so did the access to the latest episode of their favorite show. Unfortunately, this film fan is going to have to find another person to give them access to their account because their ex is not giving up those login details that easily, even with a polite “please”
Head Games
With all the things we need to think about on a daily basis, it’s surprising that people can still find time to fixate on one person.
The sender of this text probably needs to invest in a new hobby or find something else to think about because the recipient has NO interest in getting back together. We love this particularly savage response because it’s so true. Sending whoever sent it a virtual high-five!
Wait … What?
Texting has allowed us to communicate at a speed never seen before. But is that ease and speed always a good thing? People don’t put nearly as much thought into their messages as before - case in point, this very strange series of texts.
First, the person invites someone to meet up, and then they cancel, then they acknowledge ghosting that person but then say it was because their phone died. Which one is it?
An Indecent Proposal
Most people dream about the day that their partner will propose to them. From different styles of rings to endless “proposal ideas” on Pinterest and YouTube, asking “Will you marry me?” can often be complicated.
Not enough to be ignored with their first “babbbbbe,” this person decided to send SIX more messages with a very unromantic "Marry me" to top it off. We propose that this person be blocked!
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
Getting an all-expenses-paid trip to California may sound like a dream, but when your ex is inviting you, it can quickly become a nightmare. This person thought that their estranged ex would be able to forget all of their relationship sins with the invitation of a free vacation.
Thankfully, the recipient of this offer knows they’ll be just as miserable in California with their ex as they would be anywhere else. Plus, we LOVE the rejection-via-meme approach.
That’s Not How Veganism Works
People choose to go vegan for a variety of reasons. From concerns about animal rights and the environment to health, adopting a vegan lifestyle is a personal decision.
What we’ve never heard is veganism leading a person to be anti-human...Maybe this person should stop blaming their former partner's diet and focus on themselves... If their logic was this crazy during the relationship, we can understand why they broke up.
That Guy
When someone wants to hurt a person’s feelings, a common tactic is to minimize any achievement that person has made or make a person feel less important. This ex thought that they were acting like the superior one by referring to this person’s boyfriend as just “that guy.”
What he did was actually make himself look silly because “that guy” is now her boyfriend, and judging by her cold response, we would say his "move" didn't work!
The Way Too Friendly Ghost
There are times when the ghosts come out to play, and no, we’re not talking about Halloween. Many people experience certain times of the year when ghosts of relationship pasts come back to haunt us in our current lives.
This person thought that they could disappear and leave someone hanging (aka ghost them) and that they could just magically reappear and everything would be fine. Thankfully, this person quickly shattered that illusion. Let's hope the sender got spooked!
Truly Unbelievable!
There are some interactions between exes that even we can’t believe are real. This person stooped to new levels of gross when they asked for pictures of their ex to show their current girlfriend. We’re honestly so confused about this entire situation.
First of all, why would someone want to see pictures of their partner’s exes? Why did this person think their ex would want to provide pictures for them? And lastly, who actually refers to women as “broads” or says that a person “held up the best?”
It’s Been Two Weeks …
It's an unfortunate truth that not everyone in your life will always be happy for you or want the best for you. This person’s ex has apparently been sulking in the background, hoping their marriage will fail.
Even more shocking is that the person in question hadn’t even been married for a month before this ill-wisher cursed their union! This person seems to have never learned what the word “marriage” means or “commitment,” for that matter!
The Perfect Gift
Choosing the perfect gift for someone can be difficult, even if you’ve known them for a long time. This person made the potential gifter’s life a lot easier when they said that in lieu of a gift, they would just like a decade of their life back … burn!
We totally understand where this person is coming from. Their spicy reply is the gift that keeps on giving!
Try a Hotel
One of the reasons why you should always be wary of an ex suddenly reaching out is that they often have ulterior motives. This person began the message on a romantic note before their guilty conscience forced them to reveal the real reason for reaching out - they needed a room for the night.
It’s a shame that there’s no such thing as a place where you pay for a bed and room for the night … oh that’s right, this ex apparently doesn’t know that hotels exist! Time to check out!
You Alright?
When it comes to coming off creepy or caring, it can all be in the timing. For example, most normal and respectful people send messages during the daytime or the early evening hours.
This person must have some stuff going on because they decided to message their ex at three in the morning! Does this even count as a "booty call?" or is this more of a cry for help? Either way, it is not this exes problem!
Hot and Cold
Katy Perry’s song “Hot N Cold” perfectly describes the difficulty of dating someone who is constantly sending mixed messages or changing their behavior. Looking at these messages, it’s clear to see that the only one being hot and cold is this texter.
We think the person who got these texts had the perfect lukewarm response by asking them to delete their number!
Ouch!
This person must have wanted to see if their ex was awake, or maybe they even anticipated this text message exchange becoming flirty when they decided to click “send.”
What they probably didn’t anticipate was that not only did their ex NOT appreciate their late-night text but that their ex would burn them with that reply. The awkward “oh cheers lol” makes it even more cringe-inducing!
Things That Should Not Be Group Activities
We understand that breaking up with someone is often difficult. Finding the right time, place, and way to phrase things can become very overwhelming. That said, there’s absolutely no reason why you should break up with someone in a GROUP CHAT.
Surely there could have been another way to end things without an entire audience, even if you’re under “so much pressure.” Although, we have to admit that we would've loved to be one of the other chat members watching the drama unfold...
Well, in That Case …
There’s no end to the mental gymnastics people will engage in to make themselves feel better about something. This person decided that being unfaithful with their ex’s best friend wasn’t really a big deal because they never actually went on a date. Huh?
The worst part about this text message exchange was that the cheating ex was trying to make the person feel guilty for moving on … a month later ….Talk about gaslighting!
Cool Story Bro
When this person began with a sob story, we’re sure that they expected sympathy, not a suggestion to join a dating site! This ex thought that if they romanticized how good things used to be, their ex would want to get back together.
Thankfully, the ex didn’t fall for their story and savagely offered to pay for them to join a dating site. We’re not sure how long it’s been since their breakup, but we’re assuming the ex was correct in saying that it was time to move on!
Love the Way You Lie
We’d be lying if we said Eminem and Rihanna’s hit “Love the Way You Lie” didn’t remind us of some less-than-honest exes, and apparently, we’re not the only ones. This person got a suspiciously sweet message from an ex and instantly knew something was up.
They must have fallen for this person’s lies one too many times, and this time, they decided to do something about it. We love how the person doesn’t even have to google the lyrics to this song, as the name of the song says it all!
Nope, We’re All Full
Sure, texting is a generally easy and low-effort way to communicate, but that doesn’t mean you should give out your number to just anybody. It also means that even though it may only take seconds to send a text, that’s precious time wasted when it’s the wrong person.
This texter apparently hurt this person so badly that they have no interest in even continuing a "strictly platonic"relationship with them. Application denied!
Big Mistake.Big. Huge!
While we’re not sure what exactly the “huge mistake” this person made was, we’re willing to bet that it was something that could have been easily avoidable had they been a good and honest romantic partner.
Can we get a standing ovation for this PERFECT PUN RESPONSE? That has to be the best way to handle an unexpected ex-text.
Nice Stalking With You
Generations ago, it was hard to know what your ex was up to after a breakup. Today, you just have to go on social media. The term “Facebook stalking” is often used to describe the action of monitoring an ex’s social media page to find out information or see recent images of them.
It's one thing to stalk your ex on social media; it's a whole other thing to give them unsolicited photo critiques. Just stop!
All the Time in the World
When you’re into someone, time becomes irrelevant, as every minute with them is a pleasure. When you’re not into someone, however, then even a second of conversation feels like torture.
This person somehow thought that their ex was still interested in hearing what they had to say, even though they had already been blocked on various social media platforms. Like their exhausted ex says, “Please take the hint.” This person doesn’t even have a second to waste on you, let alone a minute!
Netflix and No Chill
One of the most difficult parts about dating is that you may feel a certain way toward someone when they have absolutely no interest in you. Though this can be sad, it’s part of the dating process.
This person thought that they and the recipient of their text shared “something special.” Apparently, it wasn’t special enough because they pretended not to know who was texting them and chose to watch Netflix instead.
Positively Scary How Mature They’re Being
There's no shortage of examples of people behaving immaturely during a breakup. From ignoring someone to name-calling, there’s something about a breakup that causes people to behave in the worst way possible.
These people, however, have decided that they are in a higher spiritual place to have so much negativity, so their unbelievably polite breakup message exchange might just be the most mature text exchange between exes that we’ve ever seen. We wonder how much strength it took to send that last message!
Try Not to Laugh
It’s amazing just how clueless some people can be when it comes to navigating relationships. Even though this person clearly hurt their ex, they're still maintaining this sense of innocence - even thinking that their ex would like to see them again for a coffee.
While we’re not exactly sure what happened between these two, their meme of Tom Cruise’s maniacal laugh tells us everything we need to know about how their ex feels about meeting up again.
Can’t Take a Joke
Being exes with someone means that you no longer have to worry about what your ex-partner thinks or wants. This person obviously didn’t get that memo and thinks that they can still call the shots.
If they didn’t want negativity, then they probably should have behaved better during their relationship and breakup. We’re assuming the negative feelings are a reaction to some sort of bad behavior on their part. Though it was harsh, this ex is right to not care about what their ex wants.
Side Dishes and Side Pieces
Most people would agree that there’s nothing more ick-inducing than an ex who is in a relationship but continues to try to communicate. This person was obviously not letting a little thing called being married get in the way of them trying to see their ex.
Thankfully, the ex has more respect for this person’s spouse than they did because they quickly put an end to this unwanted invitation. Did they really think paying for a meal would make someone bend their morals and get together with a married person?
Find Someone Else to Bother
As shocking as it is, it’s not uncommon for people to have a list of people that they text when they're feeling bored or want company. We assume that their reason behind keeping what’s essentially a roster of people to text is that, eventually, one will agree to meet up.
This person got a bit sick of their almost monthly text message and decided to call them out on it. However, adding the "lmfao" may be a little uncalled for.
Sounds Fishy to Us
When two people are madly in love, not even oceans can separate them. That said, when you’re not interested in someone, there is no shortage of excuses that you look for in order to avoid spending time with them.
This person must have already gone through their usual list of excuses, so they had to think of something pretty creative in order to get out of communicating with this texter. While we’ve heard of some pretty crazy excuses, this one definitely takes the (fish) cake.
Cold as Ice
From Kanye West’s “Heartless” to Madonna’s “Frozen,” there are many songs about being in a relationship with a cold person. While some may think that there’s a big heart under that icy exterior, the truth is that some people just stop having feelings for an ex - like this person.
They are apparently so void of feelings for their ex that they can’t even manage to have feelings of hatred towards them. We’re sure that this response must have come as a shock to the person who sent this text.
Soul-Hate
We’re not exactly sure what happened between these two people to make this person send such a strong message, but we have a feeling the other person messed up … badly.
Still, it is pretty harsh to wish someone to have an unfortunate day full of bathroom issues! Maybe this was just a response to the overly (in our opinion) cheesy “beautiful soulmate” text. They should both relax and leave laxatives out of it, in our opinion.
How Do You Add “Creeping” to a Resume?
If asked during an interview, we think this ex would say “stalking” as their strength, while their weakness would clearly be “getting over an ex.” This person decided to take their stalking to another… more professional… level by following their ex on the career networking site LinkedIn.
Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), they didn’t realize that their ex could see every time they crept on their page! Instead of denying it or feeling embarrassed, this person seemed completely fine with being outed as a stalker.
Anything … Hmmm …
Promising to do anything for a person can often backfire as you’re opening yourself up to endless (and sometimes unpleasant) possibilities. This person probably never thought that their offer to do anything for their ex would backfire as spectacularly as it did during this awkward text message exchange.
The ex is right, though; to be fair, the person did promise that they would do anything. We’re sure that next time they make this promise, they'll have to include a few exceptions… or several!
How About Zero?
Talk about a surprising response. This person probably thought that their ex would have missed talking to them, even a little. But apparently, on a scale of one through ten, their interest level would probably be a zero or maybe even a negative number!
The dating game can often feel like a numbers game, but this is too much! We actually feel a bit bad for this person, but it’s safe to say they won’t be asking this numerical question ever again.
Here Come the Men in Black …
Like many of the characters in the “Men in Black” witnessing strange extraterrestrial activity, we’ve experienced some weird ex-behavior that we, too, would like to forget!
This person insisted on speaking to their ex even though the ex clearly said they didn’t want to talk. Finally, the ex had to compare their nine-month relationship to being something so bad that erasing memory sounds like a good idea … wow!
Yeah, It’s Called a Relationship
Hallmark may sell cards for all sorts of special occasions, but we still haven’t seen a card that celebrates a “weekeversary.” The reason? It’s probably because most normal people would not celebrate an anniversary every week.
We’re not sure how long this person thinks relationships are supposed to last or if they think people are supposed to change partners on a weekly basis. The fact that they don’t know this is why their ex has moved on and why they're still single!
The Question and Answer Portion Is Over
When two people break up, there are often more questions than answers. When one party still has feelings, the first question they often have on their mind is when they can see their ex again.
This person apparently wasn’t into the whole question-and-answer part of the conversation, and so they immediately answered “no” to any request their ex had. We think it was pretty savage to answer no to a statement, but sometimes you have to put an end to the badgering before the other person continues!
Everything’s Just Groovy
This ex must think they are on the scene of the 1970s film because we’re not sure who still uses the word groovy, especially in a conversation with an ex. Considering how most cell phones today hold hundreds of numbers, it’s pretty strange that they’re being so picky regarding which numbers they should keep.
We have a feeling they knew exactly who this number belonged to but were just checking if that person still had any feelings for them. Unfortunately, they got their answer in the bluntest way possible; ouch!
Busy … Forever
Things must be really bad in this person’s relationship if the first thing they're doing in the morning is texting their ex. This person got quite the unpleasant wake-up call when they got a message from a married ex.
Thankfully, unlike their ex, they chose to take the higher ground and put an end to their ex’s flirting. We can’t imagine what the ex had in mind if they wanted to meet up later that night. This ex was right to call out their cheating ex!
Not Thankful for Cheaters
Thanksgiving is usually a time to spend with our loved ones and to think about the things we are grateful and thankful for in our lives. The message of this holiday was apparently lost on this ex.
They decided to not only stalk their ex on social media but ask to meet up with them, even though they’re engaged (!). The worst part about it is that they obviously see nothing wrong with their behavior or meeting up with an ex (presumably behind their partner’s back).
If the Shoe Fits …
In a relationship, many people often forget just how their behavior affects the other person. This person is obviously completely unaware of (or choosing to ignore) the reasons why they’ve been branded the “bad guy.”
Thankfully, their ex told them in a very blunt way that if they didn’t want to be considered something, they shouldn’t act like it. Here's a tip, if you don't want to be perceived as the villain, then don't act like one!
Free, Basically Never
It’s always a bit scary to see just how casual people are about going behind their partner’s backs. This person evidently saw nothing wrong with casually texting their ex to see when they could meet up.
Their ex, who was naturally disgusted, had to remind them that they were already in a committed relationship and shouldn’t be reaching out to exes. Instead of apologizing or saying anything else related to the issue, they deflected and began talking about their nap. We need to take a nap after trying to understand this person.
Taking the Trash Out
Most people would be lying if they didn’t feel this way at one point or another regarding annoying exes trying to get back into their lives.
This hilariously blunt message should be sent out in a group text made up of all their exes because they’re probably right - none of them are worth talking to ever again! Looking at the typing bubbles as they write their response, we wonder what the ex had to say about this dramatic text...hopefully nothing "trashy." Ha Ha Ha.
Busy… For the Next Two Years
We’re not sure what it is, but some people really don’t think things through before sending a text message. This person thought it was perfectly acceptable to send a casual “let’s hang” message to a person they ghosted two years prior.
Instead of giving a reason (though we’re not sure there’s any excuse for ghosting …), they just blamed it on being busy. Thankfully, their rejected ex called them out on their awful excuse. They’re right, though - who’s so busy for two years that they can't even send a text?
Day and Night
Most people would agree that there are few things more annoying than an over-eager texter. This person apparently made it their daily goal to send a text to this person even when it was clear that they wanted nothing to do with them.
We wonder how much longer this person is going to send out their almost twice-daily text messages. Or, at the very least, find a new adjective to use other than "great!"
Things You’re Not Supposed to Say Out Loud
There are some things you should keep to yourself. Things like how you’re comparing your current girlfriend to your ex and how you can’t stop thinking about your ex.
We can’t imagine what type of response this creepy ex-ter thought that they would get after sending this truly weird text. Let’s just hope the ex doesn’t share their thoughts with their current girlfriend!
Unblocked and Uninterested
There are many reasons why people block someone on social media. Usually, when you block someone, you don’t mention it - the blocked person will realize that they've been blocked when they try to access your social media page.
This person decided to use the fact that they unblocked their ex as a way to start a conversation. Thankfully the ex didn’t take the bait and instead made it clear that they (unlike their ex) had moved on and didn't have time for their ex’s immature social media antics.
Sweet Dreams Are Made of This
It's not uncommon for someone to mention their dreams as a conversation starter. When someone mentions that you starred in their dream, it often invites the person to ask how.
This person thought that their ex would want to hear more about their dream, but it actually had the completely opposite effect. They gave the most hilarious response to their ex’s cheesy line, and we couldn’t help but laugh. We're sure the texter will have nightmares from now on!
Make Up Your Mind!
It's always confusing when someone reaches out to you and then completely changes their mind about it. When this person’s ex casually responded with “WYA (Where You At?), the person immediately yelled at them to back off because they were back together with their girlfriend.
We don’t understand why this person would reach out to their ex only to tell them not to text them. At least they apologized in the last line, but still, what a rude way of talking to someone!
The Cost of Self-Worth
There's no end to the excuses people will use in order to see their exes. There was apparently no excuse that this person wouldn't use in order to convince their ex-partner to come back, even if it meant saying that they left a dollar (yes, an actual dollar).
We’re not sure about the distance between their homes, but we’re sure that just the cost of the gas or public transportation costs would make this a highly economically foolish choice to make!
Hoodwinked
It's an unspoken truth that when relationships end, people sometimes are left with random mementos. For many, these relationship souvenirs are things they end up treasuring, like this ex and the hoodie of their former partner.
On one hand, we understand wanting their perfectly broken-in soft hoodie back, but on the other hand, their ex has a point - the hoodie is the least this ex could have given them after what sounds like a year of torture!
Ex-Error Message
When blocking an ex or moving to an entirely different continent is not an option, sometimes you have to get a bit creative when you want to avoid talking to former partners.
This person had the great idea to impersonate an error code message from a cell phone company … that was until their ex questioned its legitimacy. We’re laughing at how the clever ex didn’t even apologize or acknowledge that the message was fake! They said what they said!
Yeah … That’s a No …
Some relationships end so badly that the thought of anything involving interacting with an ex sounds like the worst idea possible. This person decided that the only way to answer even the slightest suggestion of friendly interaction should be the word “no.”
We love the way the person has no idea what their ex is going to even ask them, but they’re still just saying no. To be fair, we can’t imagine anything worthwhile that this ex wants, yikes is right!
Sock-y Excuses
An ex who doesn’t know when to stop texting is bad enough, but what about an ex who texts you pictures of clothing items that aren't even yours? This ex thought that they had the perfect excuse to message their ex-partner with a picture of a single sock.
Not only is a single sock pretty useless, but the sock wasn’t even theirs, which begs the question - who does the sock belong to? Let’s hope this ex doesn’t continue texting pictures of the rest of the contents from their laundry basket!
Keeping Up With the Cool Kids
Not awkward enough to send a suggestive text to your ex; this person didn't know when to stop with the inappropriate questions when they didn't believe that their ex could have really moved on to a new boyfriend.
The question portion of the evening got even worse when they had the nerve to ask if the new boyfriend would be cool with their plans for that evening. Some people really need to learn when to stop talking.
Let Me Know When That Happens
Like many exes trying to sneak back into our lives, this ex thought that they would hide their true intentions with a seemingly friendly text. Thankfully, their ex knew what their not-so-innocent texting ex was up to and so before they could get another word in, they reminded them of their marriage.
The ex is right, though; if that person is married, they have no business sneaking around and texting exes. We love the clapping hands emojis for added effect.
How About Now?
We all like to think that we are valued and that our presence is missed when we’re not around. Apparently, this person was looking for some words of comfort or reassurance when they asked their ex if they missed them.
The answer they got, unfortunately, was neither comforting nor reassuring. We guess if you have to ask, the answer is probably no. We think it’s going to be a while before this person gets back into the dating world after that harsh message!
We Were on a (Life-Long) Break!
When it comes to breakups, decisions are not always made mutually. This person tried to suggest separating for a period of time. Unfortunately for them, their ex had no desire to do so and basically told them what they should do with their little suggestion.
Though this response was pretty savage, we don’t blame them - they can’t just sit around and wait for an indefinite period. That relationship decision seemed completely one-sided; no wonder they got told off!
The Answer Is “No”
With internet dating and dating apps, it’s easy to meet many different suitors. Unfortunately, while the quantity may be high, you can't say the same thing about the quality.
We’re assuming that the person who sent this text message has no idea that they were completely unmemorable or perhaps not worth remembering, judging by this snarky message. This must have been quite the blow to their ego and definitely not the response they probably anticipated receiving. We actually feel bad for them!
Crossing a Line
It’s one thing to insult a person, but to insult a helpless, innocent animal is really crossing a line, at least according to this ex. They didn’t mind putting up with their former partner’s verbal harassment, but when that person turned on the dog, that’s when everything changed!
As animal lovers, we can completely understand. Mess with our pet, and you’ll feel our full wrath! Though, we are curious - what exactly did this person say about their ex’s dog that provoked so much rage?
Second Chances
Sometimes, after a dramatic breakup, it’s common to forget the correct timeline of events and who said what. One thing that should be memorable, however, is who initiated the breakup to begin with.
While this person must have had a fuzzy recollection of the whole event, their ex certainly didn’t! We love how they decided that their ex should give them a second chance. Their ex was right to save their number under “Not Today Satan!”
Modern Vocabulary
The following message clearly incriminates this couple's age. We find it hard to believe that Gen X couples would be so overwhelmed by Instagram followers and blue signals that are confirmation of a message being read. Many people follow and comment on their partner's posts, being a photo or story, and one of the first signs of a breakup is when one stops following the other.
Now, what we appreciate most about this message is his honesty. He had no intention of getting back together; he had no regrets at all. All he wants is a clean and unbolded inbox. Is that too much to ask?
Demon, Be Gone
In some cases, it is better not to say a word. To embrace the fact that your other (sometimes) better is not interested anymore and that it is time to move on and go away. Far far away.
So the person on the left (the ex) sent a text hoping to get some attention, and the person on the right, who presumably would rather bathe in acid, replied with the best image they could find to express how they felt after he horrific break up they went through. Demon, be gone, I banish you; there is nothing for you here anymore.
Second Chance?
It's not over until it's seriously over, and in this case, we seem to see some light at the end of this dark tunnel. When two people break up, they say goodbye to many things. To long and deep conversations, to great nights out together and with friends, and to hours of intimacy whenever and however you want it (well, most of the time).
This guy found himself stuck in an awkward situation, feeling his ex would be the only one who could save him. No hello, no how are you feeling, nothing. Straight to the point, no time wasted.
Honesty Is the Best Policy
You have got to love this one. This looks like a typical conversation between two people who have decided to go their separate ways except one side is obviously either having second thoughts or just found themselves in a night in, bored and with nothing exciting to do.
The ex, on the other hand, is having a nice chilled glass of wine (with their rebound, we assume), and all the alcohol running through their vines still wouldn't make them change their mind. It is clear that they are simply not interested. Tip for the future: have a glass of wine, too, before sending the message. It might help embrace the answer you get.
Time Will Tell
It always seems that the big names in Hollywood manage to do so much in so little time. Even this ex-boy or girlfriend is aware of what Tom Brady did in such a short time. We are talking about retiring, getting divorced, and joining the NFL, while the person on the other side of the line took the time to realize they were wrong!
People who are able to apologize easily when they know they have made a mistake — well, we admire them. What about those who take the time and send a message out of the blue? Well, we pity them. They should learn from Tom Brady, he seems to be getting things right.
We Were On a Break!
This next couple went through a really ugly breakup. We are not sure exactly what happened. Maybe one side was unfaithful or just being an A-hole, whatever it was, it seems as if the other side is not over it yet. What we can't stop thinking about is the reaction or response time.
The first message was sent at 1:54 AM, so obviously, someone was having a bad night. However, it took the other side more than eight hours to explain that no, they were not over it, and yes, it was heartbreaking, and they were NOT on a break!
Go to Therapy
How do you recognize someone who has never been to therapy? They find it very difficult to open up and share their personal experiences in life. If you, by any chance, are open to going too far with questions, they suddenly become vicious and over-defensive.
Another way of identifying those who have seen a shrink is when they ask you to tell them what you feel about them, even if you don't see any reasoning for it. Just like this couple, one side is obviously insisting on hearing the ex hates them for whatever reason it may be. Get a life and go to therapy.
Run Run as Fast as You Can
Just because this side of the partnership misses the other, it doesn't mean they still want to be together, as a relationship is a lot more than just love. Take a look at this text message between two people who used to date. One side is asking if the other misses them, and the other side doesn't hesitate and answers immediately, "Prob as much as you miss me."
So far, everything is clear, and everyone is happy. But then, Lady Sarcasem rears her clinical head and we understand the other side isn't missed at all. In fact, if they happen to bump into them, they would run for the hills.
Roses Are Red, Onions Are Green
Who said Gen Z and millennials are lacking romance? Here is a great example of students who DO listen in English literature lessons, and not only do they listen, but they make an effort to implement what they have learned in reality.
Whoever it was came back home and instead of finding a beautiful bunch of roses and a box of chocolates, they did find the roses, except they were paired with...onions. The person who left the romantic gesture already had an answer ready and simply explained what they were feeling. If this is not romance, then we don't know what is.
Just in Case You Need It in Bold
Things must have ended on good terms between this next couple as the one who dumped the other (as we believe) still has some sense of humor. How else can you explain the Bugs Bunny explaining that NO means NO? We must ask ourselves, why can't people just send a regular text message with whatever they want to share?
Why do they have to involve cartoon characters and supposedly funny animations just to make a point? We couldn't find a satisfying explanation for this and just had to assume that he must have done something so unforgivable that seeing each other was not an option.
Who Are You?
Your ex stopped following your Instagram account after you broke up. Well, it hurts, but it's acceptable, and believe us, there are worse things an ex can do. Could you imagine them deleting your name from their contact list and erasing every piece of history you had together?
Your breakup was so bad that when you finally get the nerve (and the courage) to send them a message, they don't even know who is texting them. This is probably the most humiliating thing one can do to another. That plus emphasizing the fact that doing your nails is far more important than seeing each other.
Soulmate Who?
"You may not feel the same" is kind of an understatement, don't you think? This person is practically married, and you are talking about feelings and about how you miss them, yadda yadda yadda? Whoever it is feels that their ex is their true love of life and that they are, in fact, their soul mate.
What they didn't do was ask around what was going on with X and make sure they were still available, and if not available, then at least still open for second thoughts. They could have saved themself a lot of aggravation, heartache, and a star possession on our list.
This Is What We Call Revenge
If you had a really bad breakup, and your ex deserves revenge (some things are unforgivable), then we would suggest adopting this one. It can be used on your ex's birthday, Valentine's, or any other special date you feel would be appropriate. Getting someone hopeful and all excited about something that is never going to be is probably the best revenge ever.
All it takes is sending a short text message just to come back into someone's awareness. From there, there is nothing much to do but sit and wait for a message, begging to meet and pleading for forgiveness. The sweet side of revenge.
Late Acknowledgement
Before breaking up with your boy or girlfriend, do yourself a favor and think 1000 times. This is very important if you live in a foreign country. Could you imagine having a serious medical issue, let's say worms for example, and the only person that can explain to the local doctor what you are suffering from is your partner?
If you are planning to break up with them or being unfaithful, get yourself a plane ticket out of there immediately. You wouldn't want to find yourself in this awkward situation when you are uncomfortable and still haven't finished your Spanish course.
A Profesional Ignorant
This person should be very happy that the relationship is over. How can someone live with this? No matter what happens, they will always be the ones to blame; the other side could never be in the wrong, and whatever happened between the two, it would be obvious who would be guilt-tripping who.
This case is slightly different, though — they are explaining that the problem is not with the other side (as if); it's just that they have too high of a standard and that they would never be able to satisfy them. Thats it. We can't decide if it's better or worse.
Number One Fan
One problem that modern-day dating has but never existed a few decades ago is the social media component of the relationship. When a couple gets together it is only natural for them to start following each other's social media accounts. Once they break up, there's certain etiquette about blocking or removing the ex from the different platforms.
One side of this relationship obviously didn't get the memo and seems surprised that their Snapchat messages are going unnoticed. Now, a good friend could have helped them understand the situation but no one could have prepared them for the scorching burn they might get if they contacted their now-ex.
What's With the Question Mark?
It's the little things in life that make a difference, and it's the small letters or marks in one message that can make the difference, too. So, we have a few questions here. First, what does the ol' refer to? Is it short for YOU? Is it someone's name? And if these two have broken up, then why is the person in gray surprised?
Name one couple that remains friends or continues following each other on Instagram after breaking up. Exactly. There aren't any. Next time, read your message before sending it and read it out loud. You want to make a statement, not ask stupid questions.
Their Life Soundtrack
There are so many rules for breaking up properly, and there are so many things to do and not do when you decide to take your separate ways. One of the most important rules in the Book of Rules is ensuring all valuables are out of the house BEFORE making the move and breaking up.
Now, we are not talking about underwear or that graduation sweater that you love so much. We are talking about electrical valuables that are going to be hard and expensive to replace. In this situation, it is best to pretend you want to give it another try, evacuate the goods, and, finally, say goodbye.
La La Land
We are huge literature fans, and we appreciate those who quote scenes from movies and use metaphors to explain their feelings in life. However, one must make sure the other side knows what they are about. Not everyone thinks of The Kardashians when they think about role models for a relationship (though we don't know that for sure.)
Using a more known and respectful couple would make it easier for the other side to understand. We can suggest Cinderella and Prince Charming, Vivian and Edward ("Pretty Woman"), or even Ross and Rachel, but leave Kourtney out of the picture for God's sake.