David Beckham, famous footballer, and Victoria Beckham, once Posh Spice of the Spice Girls, are who this odd pair is supposed to be, and we’re sad to say they really, really are not. In fact, it’s tough to say exactly WHO these two are modeled after, but it’s certainly not one of England’s most famous couples.
Neither of the figures looks like the real deal, both of them are plastic and doll-like, and the faces are hideous. David looks like he’s being shown a poor investment deal, and Victoria looks like my grandmother. And that hair! It doesn’t matter which person, it’s just bad.
Jennifer Lopez
Jennifer Lopez got a wax figurine from someone that thinks Jennifer Lopez has the face of a male Korean pop singer. Most of the creations on this list could easily be identified.
Some of them might take a moment or two, but it wouldn't be that hard. This J-Lo, however, doesn't look anything like the real deal. Really, the entire face is wrong. The cheekbones look like they've been honed, the mouth couldn't be further from reality, and the eyes have a haunted, lifeless quality. If you didn't know who this was supposed to be, we doubt you could figure it out.
Mark Zuckerberg
A big problem with Mark Zuckerberg wax figurines is the man himself has a bit of an...unnatural look to him. We aren't the first to point it out, and we certainly won't be the last. His deep-set eyes, narrow, bloodless lips, and flared-out ears really make him look a bit odd.
Thus, even if any wax figurine looks just like the real thing, it's still going to be a bit strange. Also, hey, why isn't the figure wearing any shoes? We get that Zuck is often a bit dressed-down, but it still seems like an odd choice.
Elvis Presley
Movies, music, and more – it's hard to come up with a person that was more influential during the middle of the century in America. His swingin' hips, crooning voice, and unmistakable hairdo made him a one-of-a-kind celebrity.
It's too bad that none of those things mean jack when you're making a wax figurine. Well, the hair does, but it looks like they missed the mark pretty hard this time. He looks more like Betty Crocker than the King of Rock and Roll. All of the other features are pretty jumbled up, too. The mouth looks close, but not close enough.
Boy George
Boy George, best known for his solo singing career during the eighties, always had quite the eye-catching look, but this wax figurine does a disservice to the artist. We think they decided that just giving any old wax figurine a covering of bright makeup would be good enough, but even that can't hide all the sins.
A twisted, prim mouth and a lumpy chin aren't a great start, and then what appears to be an overly-large nose ends up drawing the eye away from all the accessories and other elements. Hmm...that just might be for the best!
Ryan Gosling
This twofer also features actress Eva Mendes, who doesn't look amazing, but the real star of this picture is the guy to her left, who is supposed to be Ryan Gosling. Thankfully, the features are all pretty much in the right places, but there are still some big missteps. The forehead is an eye-catching shape, and not in a good way.
The small, narrow 'stache doesn't look good unless this Gosling character is a World War II RAF pilot, and the straight-ahead eyes can send shivers down the spine. Also, look at the arms. The shimmering, flashing muscles make it clear it's not the real thing.
Michael Owen
All of the normal comments about this wax figure apply. These include but are not limited to inhuman eyes, bushy, diverse eyebrows, a hairpiece that looks like it was trimmed off of a yak, and a chin that looks like you could roll it down a bowling alley.
After all that, there is also the fact that this British footballer has a gaping mouth that looks oh-so weird. Michael Owen played for a number of big teams in the country, but tell that to this wax figure and you're going to get this exact face. He only looks good enough for practicing shots on goal as he's propped against one of the goalposts.
David and Victoria Beckham
David Beckham, famous footballer, and Victoria Beckham, once Posh Spice of the Spice Girls, are who this odd pair is supposed to be, and we're sad to say they really, really are not. In fact, it's tough to say exactly WHO these two are modeled after, but it's certainly not one of England's most famous couples.
Neither of the figures looks like the real deal, both of them are plastic and doll-like, and the faces are hideous. David looks like he's being shown a poor investment deal, and Victoria looks like my grandmother. And that hair! It doesn't matter which person, it's just bad.
Britney Spears
Seeing as how we've been seeing images of this queen of pop for almost thirty years, we're surprised that this kind of thing still happens. At a distance, and in the right kind of light, this looks enough like Spears to pass muster, but after closer inspection, we see that the face looks like it's all wrong.
Let's focus in on the mouth, which has a bit of a Barbie look. It's a little too unnatural, it's a little too big, and it's a little too set in stone. Also, her “outfit” appears to be a little loose, which probably isn't something she wants while dancing on stage.
Jennifer Aniston
Who among us didn't have a crush on Rachel while watching "Friends?" It seems as if someone had more eyes for Monica since this wax figurine is a little too obviously fake. It looks as if Aniston not only got a heavy botox treatment but also fell asleep with her eyes open.
Just imagine waving your hand right in front of her face and getting no reaction. The lips are pressed and pale, the face looks carved from wood, and the chin is a little too lantern-shaped for our tastes. Also, the skin is some combination of tan and painted.
Brad Pitt
This figurine right here looks like it would be more at home playing house with Barbie than strutting down the red carpet. You'd think after a couple of decades of having Pitt's handsome mug appear on the silver screen, wax figure makers would be able to do a little better than this.
It all just looks so artificial. The mouth actually looks decent enough, but everything else looks very...dead. It's just too obvious that it's a wax figurine. It's not the worst thing ever, but an actor of Brad's caliber deserves better, we think you can agree. And shave off that scruff while you're at it.
Prince William
With a pinched, tiny face, this wax figurine looks more like it's holding in a royal proclamation than smiling. The teeth are huge just like the real thing, but the lips and mouth appear to be more like a caricature than a true representation. The eyes too don't look very good – too close together, perhaps.
The nose is big but the WRONG kind of big. Finally, you might notice that the real Prince has a bit of thinning on the top of his head – perfectly natural – but the wax figurine has quite the hairdo to display. A little bit of pressure from the crown, maybe?
Joe Jonas
It seems like the middle Jonas brother has decided to give up after finding success on the pop charts and moved on to a different entertainment venture: that of a lounge singer from the seventies. The hair looks waxy and lifeless, the outfit is garish and gaudy, and the eyes look like they're always on the scan for his next martini.
The jawline is wrong, the nose looks immense, and even the lips don't exactly look right. We think the eyes are even the wrong color. If you're after pop star perfection, you'd better keep looking.
Rihanna
Yes, Rihanna did have a haircut that the wax figure is presenting, but then again she isn't made of what appears to be wet clay. Like many of these figures, the look is mostly good, but there are lots of features that seem to have been mishandled so that the overall effect looks quite eerie.
The lips don't look great, in particular. Nor do the cheeks. Even the chin doesn't look all that great. Neither does the skin color. It's just not all that great is what we're saying. The...ears look pretty good? Yeah, that's it. The ears look pretty good we guess...
Nicole Kidman
We're told this is a wax figure of iconic Nicole Kidman. Hmm well, the only explanation for her wax figure must be that the sculptors' eyes were "wide shut." Sure, the features are vaguely in the same shape, but you could also say that about the cliffs of Dover.
The actual cliffs, not the song by Eric Johnson. That would be pretty wild. She also looks quite a bit older than she should be, we think. And we're sure you noticed the forehead, which is soft and lumpy like a pot of mashed potatoes. Foreheads, famously, are not soft and lumpy.
Meryl Streep
Meryl Streep is one of the most famous actresses alive, and she's been buried in little golden treasures for all her hard work. Too bad she doesn't get a real wax figurine for any of it, and she instead has to be okay with this thing, which is taking her golden dress from one of her Oscar appearances.
The true leading lady has a bit of an unusual look, but this simulacrum took that look and accentuated all the wrong parts, like the harsh lines on her face and the narrow, dagger-like eyebrows. She looks like she's about to scold you in a public place. She has to be angry, but she can't raise her voice.
Michael Jackson
There are lots of eras to Michael Jackson, such as this one. It's his “cover his face in a layer of baked clay” phase. His hair looks like Oprah's, and his lips look like they've been painted on, but the big draw here is the eyes, which are sunken into his face while also donning enough makeup to make them noticeable everywhere.
Also, the eyebrows look like fuzzy caterpillars and are off-center to boot. It has its good points, but it's hard to get past all the mistakes that we can list. Why is the hair so curled? Did he ever wear his hair like that?
Robert Pattinson
Nobody can deny that Robert Pattinson is an attractive man. The wax figure creators may have done their best to capture his eyes, jawline, and cheekbones, but what they really captured was the spirit of a bird-person that has been trying to take Pattinson's place for the better part of ten years.
And now they've just given him an in! Suddenly we're going to have knock-off movies that feature "Pobert Rattinson" or something like that. And the skin quality just looks bad, too. That's going to be pretty common.
King Charles III
The party's here! And by “The Party,” we mean another bad wax figurine of another member of British Royalty. We don't know why, but this ruling family has some pretty bad luck when it comes to wax interpretations of them. This one gives us a King Charles III that has a huge nose, bulbous lips, wing-like ears, and a face that seems to be covered in chalk dust.
He's dressed to the nines in what appears to be a military parade uniform, which seems reasonable enough, but maybe it's just too hard to make a good likeness of someone who is that close to the crown. Why are his eyebrows so red, even though his hair is so black?
Elvis Presley
The king of rock and roll has one of the most legendary looks in pop culture for the whole of the twentieth century, but that doesn't mean he can't also fall afoul of poor figurine designers. It's honestly a little hard to tell this is even Elvis.
They got a relatively fifties-era outfit, and they decided to call it good. The hair – perhaps Presley's most famous feature – doesn't look good at all, and the face could literally be anybody. There are a number of quite poor Elvis figurines on the list as far as accuracy goes, and this one might be one of the worst.
Jennifer Lopez
If you came across the person on the right in a dark alley, you would do whatever it told you to do, up to and including pointing out that she seems to be melting. It clearly looks nothing like Jennifer Lopez, despite it claiming to be the person it's supposed to be.
Just compare the two pictures you see here – the eyes are vivid and staring, though without the same easy power as the real thing. The hair line (and the hair itself) doesn't stand up under any kind of scrutiny and looks like it could use a good brushing, too. The skin has such a sheen that it looks like Lopez is sweating heavily.
Kate Winslett
It looks like poor Kate was hit with a face rearranger, and then they tried to put everything back in the right spot, but they lost some pieces and turned her mouth the wrong way, and swapped her eyes. In reality, this wax figure isn't too bad, but there's something distinctly off about her lips and chin.
We don't know exactly what it is, but we don't think it's sadness from losing Jack after all this time. Her hair also looks like it's clumped together, almost like tentacles from an angry sea beast. Finally, the skin is far too doll-like for anybody to take it seriously.
Adele
Adele has quite a unique look, which means that a wax figure that doesn't get the look right is going to be noticeable at a glance. For instance, in the picture here. It almost has a skeletal aspect to it, which doesn't really ring true to the real thing.
While some of the details look like they could belong to the famous singer, if you really think about how this figure looks, you'll realize it doesn't look all that much like Adele. Like they took her apart and used the same pieces to put her back together, but they had lost some of the hardware so things aren't hanging the right way.
Cristiano Ronaldo
A young Superboy looks out at his farm, ready to learn all about truth, justice, and the American way. That's the story we've come up with, and we're sticking to it. This couldn't possibly be footballer Cristiano Ronaldo. It just looks nothing like him. The face has a youthful, boyish quality that is no longer present in the real deal.
Zoomed in as this picture is, it's simple to tell that it's wax and not skin that is covering that unnatural bone structure. Really, a lot of these figures end up with the same issue: the eyes. They end up looking so doll-like. The eyes are critical to somebody looking real, and they're so easy to get wrong.
Halle Berry
Did you know that Halle Berry has won an Academy Award for best actress? She got it for her work in “Monster's Ball,” in 2002. She's had plenty of other awards, too. So why does her wax figure look like a dime-store version of her?
The winning smile is just slightly there, the deliriously high cheekbones are sunken, and the hair is a little too tossed. Berry does prefer a dressed-down style in many of her appearances, but that's a bit too much. The eyebrows are quite intense, which seem to go against Berry's easy-going look.
Nicki Minaj
Nicki Minaj changed the world when her controversial music video “Anaconda” came out, but the people making her wax figure must have been watching something else. Or, maybe, looking at the wrong parts of the video. Anyway, while they didn't do too badly when it comes to the outfit and some certain parts of Nicki, her face and head don't look natural in the slightest.
She looks kind of scared, which maybe works based on the outfit, but she also has a weird pair of eyes that look more like a spooky being and less like a "Starships" superstar.
George Clooney
It looks a little bit like Jay Leno (read: it has a really big chin), but at least we can tell that this is supposed to be the famous A-lister. On the other hand, it looks like Clooney has had a couple of long, sleepless nights in a row, since the eyes are droopy and tired, and the skin around them even looks kind of colorless.
This could always be the lighting that is featuring these figurines, but this one once again looks pretty shiny and waxy. The lips seem too pink. And, once again, that chin is going to draw the eye. Hair looks relatively natural, at least.
Justin Bieber
As one of the most inescapable names in music over the last...fifteen years or something like that, it's no surprise that the Biebs got his own wax figure. What is surprising, however, is that it kind of looks like it was made by someone who didn't know what wax was, and only had a single picture of Justin to work off of.
The skin shimmers like greasy pizza, the eyes are dead like a doll's, and the less we say about the hairline, the better. Even the lips look like they were mishandled, and that's one of Bieber's best features, according to a very strange list we found.
Scarlett Johansson
Don't look at the name, but quick – try and figure out who this is. Clearly some famous actress, right? This is supposed to be Scarlett Johansson, but the face looks more like the designer took the face of every famous actress and created the perfect midpoint with all the features.
She looks great, but she just doesn't look like Johansson. Maybe it's the fact that she doesn't have her iconic Black Widow red hair. The rest of the figure looks fine, but the face has nothing.
Justin Timberlake
That has to be mislabeled, right? That doesn't look anything like Justin Timberlake. Obviously, the hair doesn't match the real thing, but we can't think of that hairstyle ever crowning Timberlake's famous face. And while we're on the matter of his face, it looks not too correct.
The nose is lumpier than it should be, the portions of the cheeks under the eyes are hanging a little too low, and the mouth doesn't look right at all. The scruff around the mouth and on the chin also looks really painted on. On the other hand, the eyebrows aren't that bad. Maybe it is supposed to be JT after all.
Pope John Paul II
The former holy father led the Catholic Church for almost thirty years, but even all that time wasn't enough to accurately capture his likeness for a wax museum. It's not all bad – the eyes and their area seem quite accurate, and that's often one of the harder parts of these wax figures.
Still, the skin quality is like that of an orange peel that has jaundice. The real thing was genial, smiling, and yet had a commanding presence. This wax version of him looks fierce and unyielding, and, for some reason, tilted. He looks more like he's about to order around Darth Vader.
Lady Gaga
Even those that are fans of Lady Gaga might be prepared to say that she has a bit of an odd look when it comes to pop stars. That's not to say she looks bad – it's just to say her proportions are a little different than a lot of other A-listers.
Her wax figurine, on the other hand, must have missed the memo about how she still looks good. It made her nose look like a crow's beak, made her lips pursed and wrinkled, and made her arms weirdly muscular. No doubt the hard-working pop star has some definition, but this Gaga looks ready to compete. Also, we're pretty sure the hair is just a five-dollar wig from the store.
Prince William
He's second in line for the throne of England, but his wax figure looks more like the kind of thing that would come alive in a horror movie and stalk the main characters through a mirror maze. It looks like the head was made out of old ham, and the mouth has been exaggerated to ridiculous proportions.
We know that the guy has a large mouth, but his wax figure seems to be more in the vein of a drawn caricature than a true-to-life representation of a member of the royal family. We just hope his wife didn't receive the same treatment.
Nicole Kidman
On par with other Kidman entries on this list, this bleached-blonde wax figure of Nicole Kidman looks ready to haunt your nightmares!
It's so frighteningly pale that we feel like if it went out in the sun it would burst into flames. It also, we're sorry to say, doesn't look exactly like Kidman, though that's a bit par for the course at this point. Why are the eyes so very blue? We guess there had to be a pop of color somewhere...
Brad Pitt
Spend enough time at the top of the Hollywood lists, and you're going to end up with more than one wax figurine with your face on it. It's too bad that so far Brad Pitt doesn't have any figurines with his face on them, despite the names attached to them.
This one, for instance, certainly has a pretty-boy affectation, but it's hard to call it Brad. The expertly-coiffed hair looks like it could be Pitt, but lots of other details are off the mark. That little ring of "hardly-there-hair" that surrounds his mouth looks like scraps from the barbershop. It could be worse, but it could certainly be better.
Sean Connery
The man who was Bond (the first one, anyway) left us in 2020, but he's still here in spirit. Certainly not physically, since this ruffled-shirted statue of a leading man looks nothing like Connery. It's trying really hard to mimic the focused stare of one of the original action heroes, but there are too many negatives to balance the scales.
The mouth and in particular look quite thrown into madness, with deep, DEEP grooves marring the stony visage that graced the silver screen. He's also really tan and/or sunburned, and his hair looks like that of a sixties televangelist. At that, so does his outfit. The man was Bond! Surely, there are better suits!
Rowan Atkinson
To call Rowan Atkinson a national treasure in England almost doesn't do the man justice. You know what else doesn't do the man justice? This wax figure of his most famous and enduring character, Mr. Bean. The character does tend to pull plenty of silly faces, but one is less silly and more creepy.
The nose is huge, the eyebrows look like parts of a roller coaster, and the mouth is...not really a mouth, now is it? Weird wrinkles and lines, deep crevasses, and what looks to be a double chin. They were at least able to get the mole correct, but it's too little, too late.
Michael Jackson
The King of Pop had a lot of work done, which ended up turning him into a rather strange figure to see on stage, but it certainly was never as bad as how this wax figure looks. We almost expect to have to open up the box and pull this guy out so he can ride in a helicopter with G.I. Joe.
In fact, it doesn't even look much like Jackson, other than a sharpness in the nose and maybe the chin. The lips are wide and frog-like, and the eyes are makeuped to the gills. And the hair is...definitely something.
Beyoncé
Beyoncé is one of the most famous recording artists in the world, so you think the person making her wax figure would do a little better than...whatever this is supposed to be. The hair looks okay (as in it looks to be vaguely the same color) but pretty much everything else one would use to recognize this international superstar is missing or otherwise damaged.
The skin quality is terrible, like she's been dipped in sunscreen, and the face is a top-to-bottom mess. It kind of looks like she's been hit in the face with a frying pan. Plus, where are her rabid fans? That's the most important part of Beyoncé.
Miley Cyrus
The girl once known as Hannah Montana has gone through a good number of style changes, and not all of them have been winners. This wax figurine not only chose one of the most unfortunate, but it presented it in a way that doesn't even do it any favors.
Having your tongue stuck half a foot out of your face is never the most attractive look, and this wax figure took it to the extreme, also giving Miley a mop of just-out-of-bed hair and dark, demonic eyes. And we don't know WHAT they were thinking with that outfit, but at least it's par for the course for Miss Cyrus.
Princess Diana
She was beloved at the moment of her untimely demise, and there were candlelight vigils all over the world for her back in 1997. However, perhaps the biggest accolade she could have is a poorly-done wax figurine. Only people who have lots of them get so many.
While this isn't the worst wax figurine on this list, it still makes this lost princess look a little too reptilian. The lines around the mouth always seem to be a sticking point for some of these figures, and this one is no different. The mouth appears to be sunken into the face, and the chin is oh-so pointed.
Taylor Swift
This wonderful picture allows us to compare the real deal with the fake Swift. The outfit looks pretty good, at least. However, the skin looks shiny and plastic, and the face is all wrong. It's almost always the face with these things.
They're by far the hardest part to get right. All those weird bumps and divots and things. In particular, this example has really bungled the eyebrows and the eyes, but it looks like the jaw and chin also have some problems. The nose doesn't exactly look correct, either. Still, we've seen much, much worse. At least the arms look okay-ish. That's not always a given.
David Beckham
Be honest: if you didn't know who this was supposed to be, would you have figured it out? The figure is standing in a soccer goal and is wearing a footy uniform, but even that doesn't narrow it down as much as you might think.
His forehead looks like it's been sanded down, the lips look like they came off a Mr. Potato Head, and the entire face looks like he's been covering himself in a creamy clay layer. We could have told you this was almost any soccer player (except for MAYBE Pele) and you might have believed us.
Benito Mussolini
What in the good gracious. Obviously, it's not like people are trying to portray this axis leader's strong chin and baby blue eyes, but it looks like all the air's been let out of his face! Or, like, someone decided to give the poor guy a shave and sneezed in the middle of it.
Plus, even if he didn't have all that, it STILL doesn't look anything like Mussolini. It looks a little bit more like Sean Connery pulling a turn as a Bond villain for a different Bond. That would be pretty fun. Alas, we lost the chance.
Katy Perry
We feel correct in saying that it would be hard to tell this is the California Gurl if it wasn't for the bright blue bangs from the music video and public appearances. Is she in pain? Is that part of the outfit? It's hard to tell.
The smile is limp and lifeless – like she's putting on a smile for her fans but she isn't really feeling it. The eyes are similarly unfocused, though the makeup looks on point. A flat chin and standard lumpy wax figurine cheeks complete the look for this knock-off pop star.
Selma Hayek
It's hard to get unique beauty right, which is why the wax figurine of Selma Hayek looks the way it does. Either that or there's more than one famous Selma Hayek. There's certainly an aspect of Hayek's famous Latin features, but other than that it's hard to find anything that looks correct.
The nose is sharper than a hatchet, the jaw and cheeks are whittled down, and the forehead is far too big. The hairline is lofty (and lacks Hayek's ever-present part). Granted, this could be an outfit from a role, but there are still lots of ways they could have improved this example.
Kylie Minogue
As the world's second most-famous Kylie, Minogue is also the highest-selling female Australian artist of all time. Kylie's look has changed over the decades she's been active, but we don't think she ever looked like this wax figure is trying to tell us she did.
Beyond that fact, there's definitely something off about this face. The eyes, while sparkling, have a little too much color – at the same time, the face is far too pale. It kind of looks like the figure has been biting its lower lip. There's also the wig situation, which we aren't going to address right now because we only have so much time and so many words in the English vocabulary.
Jennifer Aniston
Aniston has a pretty rough time when it comes to wax figurines of herself, apparently. Let's compare and contrast. While Aniston has a pretty solid chin, the wax version here is square like a comic book hero's. The skin has a weird rub-on tan aside from the cheekbones, which look a little too flushed.
Finally, there's this weird blue...eye shadow, maybe, that has been dusted around the eyes of the figure, while the original has a much better handle on her makeup.
Justin Bieber
You'd think with the Bieb's boyish good looks and expressive face, people would have an easier time creating wax figurines of him. Maybe the person who made this face had been playing a lot of "Sims" recently, but something about that face just doesn't look correct.
There's either a lot of contouring going on, or they sharpened down the cheekbones into deadly weapons. The eyebrows are rather intense and heavy and don't seem to fit on his face. The lips still don't look right, and the space between the upper lip and nose (the philtrum!) is way too defined.
Christina Aguilera
Ah, drunk Marilyn Monroe, it's so nice to...oh, it's supposed to be Christina Aguilera? What happened? Is someone at the wax figure company way too interested in noses? Because we're pretty sure that nobody has a nose that prominent. Maybe they repurposed the wax figurine for Jennifer Grey before the nose job.
And we assume that this is the place where the wax figurine is set up, but the skin is oily and plasticky. And the lips...what's going on there? They appear to be closer to pieces of fresh plum than actual lips. Nice eyes, though. It's probably a reason they're so big and beautiful – to draw attention away from the rest of the face.
Angelina Jolie
Angelina Jolie has a vivid, dynamic look, but this wax figurine seems to go a little too far with some of these features. Her nose is far too sharp, and her famously plush and kissable lips (uh, so we hear) have been reduced more toward the mean. The eyes are certainly striking, but we're not sure if they're all that accurate.
She also has a smaller jaw than normal, which makes her look...almost like she's just a random person who happens to have somewhat fine features. The doll-like appearance doesn't really help that much, either.
One Direction
From a distance, this does in fact appear to be (hold on, Googling) Niall, Liam, Harry, Louis, and Zayn. Take a closer look at any one of them, however, and you'll start to notice that there are some...differences.
The one on the far left looks like his eyes are far too small, the middle lad has a head shaped like a cinder block, and the guy in the back right looks like he's just been kicked in the teeth. It just gets worse and worse as you look closer. We think the only direction you should turn your head is away from these figurines.
Leonardo DiCaprio
It looks like all that icy cold water didn't do Jack any favors if this wax figure or Leo is any indication. It has a bit of an uphill battle since no face looks good with full-frontal lighting such as in this picture, but there are a couple of details that just aren't kosher.
Maybe they based it on an earlier version, but the head looks like it's the wrong shape, and that's just the beginning. The eyes are...intense is probably the best word for them. The lips looked chapped and crooked, and not in a winsome, charming way, either. And goodness, what have they done with your hair, Mr. DiCaprio?
Rihanna
Rihanna is without a doubt, the coolest person alive! However, her wax figure is anything but. It looks like it's just as ready to bust a move as my grandfather's bad back.
The eyes look like they've been stolen from a museum, and the mouth is limp and cookie-cutter. As if it was chosen for the figure without taking into account the rest of the face. The body looks fine, as long as Rihanna is known for her glistening, plastic skin, but it at least has the same dimensions as the umbrella'ed one.
Prince William
Good gracious, what happened here? Did the kids get in with a bucket of whitewash? In case it was hard to tell – and who can blame you – this is supposed to be Prince William. What was this, part of a declaration of war against the British Empire? It looks...demented. First off, the body as a whole doesn't seem to be following normal proportions and looks more like a discarded mannequin.
Now the face. Mismatched, wandering eyes, a beak-like nose, frizzy, frayed hair, and a slapped-on mouth. The area around the eyes is horribly done, like it's been decorated with brown sugar.
The Beatles
John, Paul, George, and Ringo are all here. With hits like “Can't Buy Me Wax,” “A Hard Day's Pose,” and “Yesterday (Is Just Like Today Because I'm a Hideous Wax Figurine),” this group has everybody's ears. Listening for them to approach, so they can run away.
None of the Fab Four even look remotely correct, and it's beyond us to even try and figure out which is supposed to be which. It looks like one of them is Sylvester Stallone. The others are all Hammer vampires. Even their outfits look like poor copies of the original matching suits these guys wore. At least get the hair right!
Chris Hemsworth
The god of thunder is ready to strike fear into his enemies, which we assume includes his plastic doppelganger that tries to take his place when nobody is paying attention. Let's look at what works: the eyes and eyebrows are pretty good...that's all.
The wig and hairstyle don't look natural at all, the lips are petulant and pursed (and pink), the jaw doesn't look right, and the skin! The skin looks like an Icelandic person out in the desert for a day. Which almost makes a little bit of sense, seeing as how Thor was a Norse deity, but it still doesn't look at all like Hemsworth.
Queen Elizabeth II
The Queen, as played by Alec Baldwin. She's sporting a not-too-enviable double chin, her eyebrows are wide and wild, and the wrinkles around her mouth make her look both too old and too young. You'd think that the creators would have done a little better of a job, seeing as how Elizabeth was the longest-reigning monarch in the country's history.
She's traveled more than any other monarch (assisted, no doubt, by the advent of air travel), and considerd it her lifelong duty to serve her country. It's too bad she didn't get a proper wax figure, even with all those things. It doesn't look anything like her!
Selena Gomez
Ah, yes, Selena Gomez, who is famous for...her music, really? Huh. Anyway, this wax figure kinda just went with “generic young Latina pop star.” Like if somebody wanted to create a pop star but didn't actually want her to be anyone specific, just someone that looked cute and was ready to sing and make the recording industry lots of money.
That's what this looks like. Also, does everybody get a wax figure these days? Isn't Selena Gomez, like eighteen? Oh, she was born in 1992. Well, she certainly looks younger. Is that on purpose, or was it part of the wax figurine deal?
Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan has been in the public eye for quite some time (which might not have been the best for her), so we're surprised that her wax figure is so far away from the real thing. Then again, she has taken to mixing up her look recently, so the creators have to act quickly. However, this one just has a bit of a weird look.
The intense Lohan stare is there but seems a little TOO intense. The face is deep and lined, and the hair is a bit dowdy. There are a lot worse examples that we've seen, but this one is still memorable.
Zac Efron
This “High School Musical” heartthrob has a face that is made for smiling, so we shouldn't be too surprised that wax figure makers have a bit of a hard time making it look realistic. However, they seem to have just gone for the Ken Doll approach, which makes this guy's head look like it came out of a plastic mold.
It's not exactly that it looks bad – it just looks a little too GOOD. Everybody has some kind of flaws – eyes too far by about a millimeter, crooked nose, odd bumps – but this guy looks like he was made to be perfect.
Michelle Obama
It's a little hard to know where to begin with this one. First and foremost, the skin color doesn't look right. Instead of the original, the wax figure looks a little more like chocolate syrup. Which we all enjoy, obviously, but it's still not the right color.
The hair looks a lot like a doll's hair, and the color also doesn't match that much. Michelle Obama has a large, bright smile, but it seems too large on the wax figurine. The cheeks seem to have a little bit too much color, the chin is sharp and solid, and the eyebrows are too defined.
Oprah Winfrey
It should come as no surprise that Oprah Winfrey got a wax figure – she's one of the most successful people that has ever been on TV, one of the richest women in the world, and a bona fide American treasure with an entire network and magazine under her name. It's too bad that her wax figurine looks like...goodness, it certainly doesn't look like Oprah Winfrey, that's for sure.
Maybe like if she got hit with a steamroller or something like that, and had dental work done to give her an overbite, and also got her eyes separated a few more inches.
David Beckham
He was probably one of the most famous athletes in the world at one time, but this fine footballer has bad luck when it comes to wax representations of himself. This list actually features more than one. This one has eyes that are so sunken they might as well not even be there at all.
The nose looks like a hot dog that has a blown-open end, and the jawline is striking, not exactly realistic. The lips are long and overdone, and the forehead is a big slab of skin that you could fry an egg on. The face he's pulling also looks like he's trying to figure out why he missed a goal.
Kim Kardashian
Which one has more plastic? We promise that will be the only one. Here's Kim K standing next to her wax figure, and we're surprised that she's able to put on such a happy face. The figurine doesn't really look all that much like her. It's got her wardrobe, her flowing tresses, and her...uh...assets, but other than that there aren't that many similarities.
The chin is off, the eyes are vacant and lifeless. Even the nose doesn't seem to match. And, finally, (we're trying to be cool about this) the...sweater zone doesn't exactly look natural. Very, uh, defined. Just fake is the best way to put it.
Taylor Lautner
Taylor Lautner (famous for taking his shirt off in the “Twilight” movies) already looks kind of plastic, but his wax figurine took the idea to the max. His skin shimmers like he went diving in the ocean after an oil spill. His face appears to be molded with the hand of someone who lost a few fingers thanks to a giant crab, and the muscles that he became famous for look like they've been bolted on.
His skin and lips also seem to be the wrong color – it doesn't look like him except for maybe the eyebrows and hair.
Justin Timberlake
Timberlake has done it all. He's been the lead in big movies, he's been part of the biggest boy band in the world, he's been a successful solo artist, and he's dated Britney Spears. He's done it all. Maybe one of these days he'll get a wax figure that looks anything like him.
This example isn't too far off the mark, but it has a bit of a beat-up look to it. Like the wax figure uses his nights to get into fights with the other wax figures when the lights are all off. The forehead is too big, the scowl is too deep, and there's something about the nose that we can't place. There's just too much of it, we think.
Lorde
Lorde wowed all of us by coming out of nowhere with a sparkling singing voice, and her wax figure is also wowing all of us by not looking much like Lorde. Sure, they got the hair right, but there are a lot of people who would say that's the easiest part. Hair is a big part of everyone's look, so it's also a crutch for the poor figurine.
On the other hand, the nose is lumpy and mushy, the cheeks look far too hollow, and everything south of the neck is just featureless. In fact, now that we look at it, the hair looks like it's the wrong color, too, but that could just be the lighting.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
This picture doubles up on bad examples of wax figurines of famous movie stars. Neither of these famous power couples turns out very well, to say nothing of the naked flying babies on the wall behind them.
A young Pitt has a feathered, light haircut that simply doesn't work with the shape of his face which, now that we mention it, doesn't look quite correct. The forehead is too big, the chin is too narrow. Angelina also has quite the sharp look to her, which isn't all that far off, but it still looks somewhat too narrow.
Justin Bieber
Boy, the Biebs has a hard time with wax figures, doesn't he? And this one is wrong for a bit of a different reason. Firstly, maybe Bieber had a hand in this, but it looks like the wax figure has a best-case scenario when it comes to the musculature that we see.
That's not to say Justin doesn't have a nice figure, but the wax figure is taking it up a notch. Also, the face just doesn't look natural – though that might be because of who it's trying to copy. But they got the tattoos accurately, as far as we can tell.
King Charles III
We think it's fair to say that King Charles III doesn't have the most attractive look, but we think the figure-makers can do a little bit of a better job than this. Charles looks like he just realized he didn't bring the dog back in or something like that.
His eyes pop out of his skull with a bright color that draws a little too much attention, and his nose, cheeks, and ears – the center band – all look like they have too much color and attention.
Ariana Grande
No, no, that can't be. They can't have actually made that and told everyone it was Ariana Grande. Did they leave her in the oven for too long or something like that? There are real people that look more like Ariana Grande than that figure.
*I* look more like Ariana Grande than that picture! It kind of looks like they put the wrong head on her neck...though now that we look at it, the body doesn't seem like it looks right, either. Well, it's a good thing they put on the starlet's signature hairdo right, to make sure people knew who it was supposed to be.
Miley Cyrus
This is so bad and it's not even the only feature of the singer on this list. Poor girl just can't get a break, can she? This wax figure is from around 2009 when she was a young and growing pop star and not the figure of myth and legend she is now.
Unfortunately, it sort of looks like it could be any old person who was that age and had that hair and wore that wardrobe, and not someone that had been on Disney TV for literal years. Her face looks too wide, the lips are too forward, and the eyes look like they have enough space for plenty more souls. Maybe one day, Miley.
Mel Gibson
Mel Gibson does tend to have a pretty intense look on his face a lot of the time, but this wax figurine is going too far. His peepers look like they can see through walls, whether or not it's with the help of x-ray vision, or it's just setting the entire wall on fire and standing in the ashes.
Aside from that, the lines around the face don't seem to line up very much, and the forehead looks like this actor decided to wear a wig. He also seems to be pulling the John Travolta from the "Pulp Fiction" what's going on here? gif. Same outfit and everything.
Naomi Campbell
Naomi Campbell is a famous supermodel and is regularly touted as one of the world's most beautiful people. Well, those that were in charge of her wax figure must have missed the memo, because they accidentally created a figure of a really skinny giraffe that looks like she just woke up from a long bender.
The face looks entirely wrong, the skin color looks...well, waxy, and the eyes, in particular, seem to be the kind of thing that will follow you around the room, even when you very much do not want them to. And that jawline looks like it belongs on Anya Taylor-Joy, not on Campbell.
Daniel Radcliffe
He was the only one people could watch while the Harry Potter movies were coming out, but the person making his wax figure must have been focusing on something else. It has a little bit of Bryan Cranston or Bruce Willis in it. In fact, the only part that seems similar to Radcliffe (circa 2007, when it was made) is the dark, tousled hair.
The jawline seems to be from a Superman comic, and the eyebrows appear to have gone through more work than most Renaissance paintings. We gotta say though – the suit is quite a dashing style.
Ben Affleck
We're told that's Ben Affleck, but if someone said it was Ryan Reynolds, we wouldn't have any reason to not believe it. It still wouldn't look that good, but we could believe it. The chin looks like it was chiseled with a tool, and the eyes are dead and empty, staring into yours like it needs you to bring it sugar water or something like that.
Or, maybe it's bemoaning the fact that it's trapped inside a motionless body, and it can't live out its dream of acting in "Team America: World Police" along with all the other puppets.
Hillary Clinton
Hillary Clinton has certainly seen better days! The eyes are squinty and wrinkled, the cheeks are reddened. The hair looks nothing like the real thing, and we doubt any woman could pull that style off.
And lest you forget about the teeth that are attached to that head, you'll probably be seeing them gnash in the dark every night for a week.
Britney Spears
Seems a little mean to make a wax figurine of a pop star that is that poorly done, and then put it in that pose. A little mean. Britney has been a star performer before she was even out of high school, but even that wasn't enough time to get all the details right for this figurine.
Or, as far as we can tell, any of the details. Flip your screen upside down, or turn your head around, and we bet that you wouldn't even be able to tell who that was supposed to be except for a blonde singer attached to a pole. And that pale, waxy skin – we must do better.
Robert Downey Jr.
Everybody loves some RDJ, but it seems that not everybody can recreate his famous looks. For example, the people that created his wax figure, which looks like it's planning your untimely demise. And it will be a perfect crime, too, because who could ever blame a wax figure?
The face is lined and weathered, and while Downey does have a few well-earned wrinkles, this face looks more at place as part of a cliff face. The eyes are scowling, and the skin has the classic plastic quality of wax that didn't have the right people working on it.